He's not gay. He just has bad gaydar and he gaydared himself and was wrong.
So add panera bread to the places i love to eat that i am potentially banned from.
It started as a joke and ended with a trip to the emergency room, a broken macbook and a gigantic hole in the concrete of my driveway.
It was cool in an 'oh shit I'm gonna get arrested' way.
We're the only two others left at work. My internal monologue is going: TAKE ME. TAKE ME NOWW. ON THE COUNTER. IN FRONT OF THE MANAGER. JUST TAKE MEEE
I have an explanation for how we got this drunk this fast... but you wont like it. We are officially in complete liver failure.
A DRUNK EMT IS BETTER THAN NO EMT!!!
He let me keep my Michael Jordan Bulls jersey on during sex.
I woke up at 4 am. Literally pissed. No idea what happened. I could have fucked a cow.
She pulled me up to my feet by my hair. I thought it was you for a second. My drunken angel savior.
anyways, do you want to make more embarrassing memories that im bound to remind you about later and laugh about?
Emojis can't explain what he felt when that ass dropped
He just made this face while he was fucking me and he looked like the hunchback of Notre Dame, I had to stop him.
I just had to explain my bite marks to my allergy doctor when she gave me my shots...You're the best <3
Made it to the top o the stairs ALIVE YES FUCJ YOU GRAVITY
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