He's so far in the closet he's in Narnia
No, veal is cruel because they chain them down, I'm talking about free range human babys here.
bad idea #53- masterbating while on period.
she always made me post sex PB&Js it was like fucking a trashier Martha Stewart
legit been throwing up since 7am. told my parents the two bowls of puke in my dorm were soup
I don't care how ugly she is, I can't turn down a free movie +bj. In this economy that's downright irresponsible
Just assessed the damage in the bath. Two love bites. One bruise on the inner thigh. Strange awareness of what i'm assuming is my cervix. I've definitely missed you. x
Try not to bring up the fact that I woke up and couldn't find my pants... He might get the wrong idea.
i love all of you. Physical. Emotional. Mental. All of it. When we speak i feel like a feather or a dragon depending on the conversation ...
I just used FaceTime as a look out while I got a blowjob in the library
When we picked him up this morning the cop said that if they actually arrested every drunk American who pissed on cathedral doors, Spain wouldn't have any room for real prisoners.
So apparently last night while I was drunk I read him erotic fanfiction while he was eating me out. He stopped every now and then to give me feedback.
On the way to have sex with my ex's roommate... I have hit a new low
Nah, i wasn't offended. Having a bridesmaid who you had had multiple threesomes with your future husband would be weird.
screwing the intern at work sucks when u find out the boss is too. She is a smoking hot though
Randomize
