I can't breathe out the right side of my face
Question: why is there a dildo glued to my kitchen table?
Is it weird for a girl to post pictures of her dildo no facebook?
there's a sledge hammer in the bottom of the swimming pool... so whatever happened last night was probably awesome
Pregnancy scare over. Let the cockfest begin.
It looks like the misc $300 credit card fraud might have been our taxi cab driver who wouldn't take boobs as payment. No wonder...
Woah there. I lasted a semester and a fourth of college not having sex. trust me when i say keeping my virginity was an obstacle course of olympic proportions.
The virgin olympics. I would win the gold. For America.
I will not remember tonight for the most part. This text will be evidence. You can and probably will use this against me.
After he finished going down on me he came up from under the covers, threw his hands into the air and shouted "take that lesbians!" and finished with "and we have dicks!"
And it was in that moment when I realized that these high schoolers looked up to me and that I should set a good example. So I stole a casserole and left.
If it was any colder outside, the frost from my breath would make a mixed drink
The closest I'll come to committing is leaving sex toys at their house
Shes yelled my World of Warcraft name when we were having sex, I think marriage is next.
Nice people suck dick too. I'm proof.
Well I only snuggle him I don't hump him. That's rude.
Randomize
