I was like, "um, that's my butthole."
It was fun until I shot a pea out of my nose while throwing up. Left over tuna casarole at 3Am was a terrible choice.
What do you mean how did you end up there? You told him he had a face you'd like to ride, that's a deal sealer in any language.
Pot head idea of the day: make a maraca out of weed seeds. Or a rain stick? Definitely rain stick.
Hell hath no fury like a woman whose gay sidekick you insult
Because you work where i will be drunk tonight I'm asking you. Is a shirt required on Halloween?
Rick two cubicles down puked and that triggered three others puking into their trash cans as well. The janitorial staff hates it when we go drinking on a work night.
He woke me up at 3 am, turned me on, then changed his mind. There is no way he is getting out of twilight now.
was I really that bad?
you army crawled across the kitchen floor, turned the cat into "super kitty" and crawled into the dog cage
He got an erection from helping me mobilize my lumbar spine. I love physical therapy school.
Can you send me the pictures of me riding the penis
I haven't been dieting for my entire life to date some guy who thinks his dad bod is a riot.
Look, his dick is so good at being a dick that it makes me see God. And I don't even believe in God.
Well I hate to admit it but at this point I can successfully say i have been pee'd on by both of my roommates.
Someone should walk up to them and say, "We're sorry, you're too hot to be out here with the other humans."
Randomize
