He bought me ice cream and then I gave him a bj
I think that's fair trade off
smoked weed with Joakim Noah last night....if he was half as fast to the basket as he is to grab a joint from me we'd have another championship on our hands
I have a story that starts with Nutella and ends with sex in the laundry building at RIT.
Defrosting my mini wheats in the microwave was a bad choice
I thought it couldn't get worse until she said "Nipple hair"
Just passed a Taco Bell Taco Supreme, still in its wrapper, laying in the grass. I'd like a moment of silence.
May it rest in peace.
the fact that you could barely do more than slur incoherent sentences didn't stop you from correcting her grammar
Guys with values who care about your personality don't cum on your back the 2nd time they you sleep with you.
He took a picture with a naked dude. I think he just walked out of that deep ginger closet.
But mostly the blowjob in the airport bathroom was what I was laughing at.
WHEN DO I FOLLOW THESE PEOPLE. I WOKE UP THIS MORNING &FOUND TWEETS FROM ILLUMINATI AND "hot shot 6th grader"
GOOD MORNING. Have you seen the Avenger vibrators?
I want to get "Patrick Kane" wasted tonight
I am one hundred percent down for that
The Uber driver took us to a Waffle House. We didn't even say anything when we got in. MAGIC.
I'm not kidding, he literally jumped in the red panda exhibit. I knew this was gonna be a good birthday.
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