i wanted to iron the shorts i'm wearing. but i'm high and lazy. so i'm using my hair straightener. in bed.
Pick my eyebrow is burning. I'm sitting in the back of dolows vat and listening to jolly music and wilfgang is signing and looking food. Cute kid. Home is where I go now.
what. the. fuck.
she was seriously choking and the whole time all he kept saying was "that's what she said"
i don't want you to think of me as your TA
My mom is such a hoarder. I found a deer candelabrum last night, it had antlers has candle holders. It was like a redneck menorah.
theres always time to masturbate. my grandpa taught me that.
after last nights cooking expirments i have lost all faith in the fire alarm battery
why did your cousin post "out tonight" on facebook? doesn't he know it's only 1 in the afternoon?
shhh don't tell him. it's cloudy out and none of his clocks work
He talked me into making a sex video, no worries though, I was wearing sunglasses.
It's a bathroom floor kind of morning.
I don't care who it's from we're getting blown. It's a 3 day weekend anything can happen
i feel we're the only people who'd use nyquil sexually
Worst decision of artistic career thus far: bringing a banana to eat on male model day.
Omg one of the midgets from last night just added me to Facebook.
1 fuck you 2 fuck her 3 ur forgiven 4 im breaking up with her
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