at this rate if someone im actually interested in likes me back im going to die of surprise before i even get to make out with them
what age do we have to be before we can stop fucking guys on the first date?
i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i still was a whore
she actually told me to ignore the cokeheads in the corner with knives.
i remember too much of last night for it to have been successful
I've taken to hiding pictures of us around his room so that he'll forever feel guilty for dumping me on Valentine's Day... And to potentially cock block any hook ups.
Absolutely. Last time I signed up for a softball league I had sex with my high school economics teacher.
I got stoned in my snow covered car and pretended I was burried alive
Blasting venetian snares and drinking a beer. I love being an adult. It's like being a child but with beer for breakfast, better music, and no one yells at you.
i refuse to give everyone the satisfaction of seeing the results of my acting on my thoughts
Monday funday. I brushed my teeth with antibacterial soap. hangover I did not have.
the puppy had a little leather gag and was using a ball gag as a fetch toy
I have got to move on from this "sleeping with every drug dealer I meet" phase.
Omg. I checked my purse this morning and I'm pretty sure drunk me stole a frat guys tube of crest 3d white toothpaste. Like that's pretty fucked up but I think if I knew someone did that to me I'd probably still invite them over again cuz I'd be like, "this girl's creative, and has good hygiene."
I’ve wanted to home wreck him since their wedding. It was a dream come true
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