How, after 24 years of life, did I manage to revisit breastmilk
Stop bringing these fucking whores home with you. If I have to fight over the remote with a bleach blonde idiot wanting to watch the hills reruns one more time I'm pissing in your shampoo.
it felt like I walked into a Tool Academy challenge
i'm at a baby shower....never been happier to not be having sex currently
he ran me a hot bath. i thought i was in a pot and was going to be eaten. i was strangely ok with this
I don't even want to talk about it, I'm traumatized. Even the dog knew to take advantage of the most intoxicated girl at the party...
I'm so covered in bruises. God dammit drunk me. We are a lady.
I am too hungover to address any of this right now, every time i move it feels like i'm being bitch slapped by the hand of God
I FEEL like I celebrated someone's 21st, but really I just celebrated Tuesday.
listen. he fixes things. buys me drinks and sticks his penis in my vagina. age means nothing at this low point in my life.
I'm glad we smoked together,that was probs the biggest sibling bonding we will ever have.
You texted him 17 times. Asking for him back and sending random pictures of Jimmy Buffett. He didn't answer.
I come home to my brother mixing skittles and vodka. We're all proud of him.
I didnt know whether I was going to vomit or orgasm because I was feeling both sensations
Look, I am sorry I shaved your cat...but get over it.
Randomize
