how about we just leave your boyfriend out of this
You watched "From Justin to Kelly" and sang along to more than half of the songs. I didn't know whether to laugh or to be insanely frightened that you knew almost all the lyrics.
my sombrero is too big for the bathroom
i distinctly remember leaping through the apartment to rescue the clam chowder burning in the kitchen
my post shower fart this morning sounded like hulk ripping through a phonebook
My sister was crawling her way home and kept asking us to carry her,then she insisted on grabbing at our ankles til she passed out, how was your night?
No, man, we stole the housekeeper's key and we're just going room to room raiding mini fridges. Hurry
Logan has the vodka and snickers. We're making a run for it. Room 302
Would it be out of line to take a picture of all the earrings, rings, hairclips, and other miscellaneous girl items that I found under my bed and post it on facebook and tag all the girls that I slept with this year so they can claim their shit and get it out of my house?
He used Kanye West lyrics to justify what happened and I accepted his logic
What is soo wrong about a house of half-naked people hugging each other and laughing?
The pinata full of drugs?
I don't need you anyway! I have puppies and booze!
that's the second time I've made out with him and woken up with my pants stuffed with PBRs I am convinced he's magic
I guess "Ass Fun Friday" is not a thing no matter how many times I say it or bring it up in conversation...
I forgot to respond before, I was apologizing for confusing sex with secret Santa.
I'm eating ice cream out of my purse
Randomize
