woke up to moans and hushed"we can't do this with him in here." hope they had a good time
On a side note I can sing drakes “best I ever had” so good you’d think I was on degrassi.
You have to stop making references to your extense knowledge of 13 year old girl television programming for me to believe you aren’t homo. The Bravo line-up was one thing, but seriously
the fact that you could barely do more than slur incoherent sentences didn't stop you from correcting her grammar
You were competing with my dog to see who had the stronger bark....
I hope you remember pushing the girl off the stage because you said she wasn't good at pole dancing.
Nope. Can't afford girlfriends. Still looking for the 25 year old bisexual tripled who owns a brewery or a casino.. the search continues....
Yeaaah. I'm kinda wary about that guy. Does he still have that taser that he found on the train?
yo your bro wants to know what time he got home and were you hosing him off
I was just sitting on the ground alone in fetal position shivering and chewing on my hand when she found me. ecstasy was not my best idea.
We put your drunk ass to bed. 10 minutes later we heard you scream "DICK-PUNCH!!!" It was immediately followed by a shriek of pain and crying. So to answer your question; no, that's not "sex soreness".
apparently while i was high i thought that putting a dinosaur temporary tattoo on my inner thigh would keep me from taking my pants off and having sex with him...
...it didn't...
The power of my boobs compel you
Who died my cat blue again?
I'd rather explain to the cops why I'm naked than why I'm drunk.
That ass isn’t going to eat itself.
Randomize
