Whod you bang
Taylor Swift is so right about you.
There's a technique?! I just slide my tongue around
he asked me if i had ever jacked off high and then referred to it as a "man-to-man question"
He just randomly started talking about Haiti and Conan O'Brien and his grandpa's hip replacement operation. It was the worst phone sex I've ever had.
Are you dead or are you taking another 13 hour nap? you need to let me know these things ahead of time so i dont worry.
I really can't get over how proud I am of all us getting laid at the same time in the same apartment
She wasnt impressed wen i brought a guy for her back with me, a 3am impromptu sperm donor is not a gd birthday present. Im a bad gf.
Fucken Tweens. They smelled like cotton candy and hand jobs my nostrils were offended.
I'm sure you can think of a way to make money.. God didn't give you boobs that awesome to waste them feeding your children..
Perfect. Let's do that. I'm thinking everclear and green dye as our base. We shud start from there
Jailed a totally belligerent hot guy. That was probably my most thorough pat down. Ever.
i got kicked out of McDonald's for demanding a margarita mcflurry
I gave him blue balls & ate the last slice of pie so the chances of a second date are slim...
The magnum condom fits. I feel like a manly version of cinderella
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