I can handle NPR. I speak hippie. I took it in college.
I just watched a woman break three wood planks with her boobs. I don't know how I feel about that
Awww, you two will make beautiful abortions together...
Random question, but did I leave a spoon on your dresser last night?
You burned the hair off your arms. Again.
It grows back stronger each time.
No it was good. I serenaded the holding cell occupants with a fabulous rendition of Making Love out of Nothing at all. It was fucking amazing!
Just from watching vine I come to conclusion that all pornstars are dog hoarders.
I'd like to thank you for ensuring I didn't die. Id also like to show you the most impressive bruise you will perhaps ever see
I woke up and found piles of popcorn in a trail around my house, ending at a laundry basket full of pillows. What were we trying to catch last night?
I think I'm getting sponsored by the Mexican Drug Cartel for the start of my poker career. It was an interesting night at the bar. One word, Vegas.
I'm wearing sunglasses around my house. Douchebag status. The hangover is real.
The only word that describes how much hair I shaved off of my ass is "considerable".
I need to hire someone full-time to slap food and dick away from me.
I'm so sorry for trying to eat your puzzle last night...
Hello! Time means nothing. Good morning! I have a vague idea of what day it is.
It is Muednethiday, March 34th, in the Year of Our Lord Joe Exotic 3099.
Randomize
