it's taking a lot of effort to be mature and not reply to her with like a video of bestiality porn
He asked me why my bellybutton was so ugly... and wondered why i wasnt in the mood anymore.
I'm genuinely dissapointed that we didn't make any fat chicks cry
i feel this will be the best possible way to start a friendship. By breaking into his house.
Dude in front of me just jumped out of line at Starbucks to go puke. Vegas in prime form.
I really appreciate you zipping up my pants at the bar. You didn't even ruin my Bermuda triangle.
Im cutting you off tonight ONE boy at a time
I just sneezed and it made my entire body ache. Hungover is an understatement
and here comes the time of my day when I haw to convince a guy to drive my cape and my handle to my dorm.
Someone somewhere has a picture of me vomiting in a bus stop trash can while a drag queen held my hair for me.
Pride claims another victim
this party is nice, but i have to go home and cry over anime in order to fill my daily quota of suffering
I took a pregnancy test at Pancheros a bit ago.
Dude, they hit that lizard part of my brain that tells me to fuck people.
Preach sister.
I have four things I would like to do over summer too... Problem is they're all roommates
Having a bangable neighbor is going to ruin my booty call game. I refuse to go across town for dick now
Randomize