Its not drinking alone if you got Tiger on the Wii.
Your dad touched me again.
His moose knuckle keeps winkin at me
I'm sorry, but there's just something about mesh over nipples that irks me.
Remember that dream I told you about where I shit out my own skeleton? I had it again last night.
I wonder if i passed any courses from last semester
Weird shit dude, I just realized that the girl I fucked last night looks like Shaun White's twin sister. I dunno if I should be scared or turned on
I hope her Double McTwist was as good as his
i think i can safely say that is the weirdest thing you've ever propositioned me with. so obviously my answer is yes.
Running errands with mom, cool. Coming to pleasures with mom for her valentines night, not ever in a million years cool.
Just got to her place. Her parents are here and are high as a kite.
Her father just game me a high 5 as they left the room. Her mom leaned in and said "this is a rebound thing"
Lemme put it this way babe, at point you were naked in Target.
Where were you?
Laughing
My mom just told me not to dance on any tables on Halloween...I'm choosing to take that statement as a joke
I just had a 10 minute staring contest with my dog. Can you come over?
Nah leave him alone, he is at the strip club with his mom.
I'll tell you all about it in person but let's just say the big dick fairy must really like me right now
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