He said he used to draw on the walls with poop when he was a kid.
I just did my online traffic school at the bar. No biggie.
sex on the roof is not as easy as it sounds
If tjhis were a lake full of vodka and i were a ducl Id swim my way down and ddrink my way up
Nothing kills the mood when I am hooking up on the dance floor like the DJ saying Happy Valentines.
Just realized I lost my social security card...maybe someone else will do something with my life
wearing my roomate's scarf as a dress...halloween 2011 ladies and gentlemen
I found a pair a guys underwear in my purse that has a British flag on it and says and I quote "British beef" what.the.fuck.
I really need to create fewer "the time I was on drugs" stories for my future memoir, "my first year in San Francisco".
good luck with that
ahhhh just came to creep and you're not there AND your thong you were wearing last night is on the floor..someone has some explaining to do
I know. But whatever I'll just eat cold pizza and play with my cats by candlelight
Im invoking the "no judgements" clause of our friendship.
My god, what have you done?
I peed my pants and am still dancing with guys at the club because I liked my outfit too much to change. Call the ratchet emergency
It was pretty awesome. I drank out of a stein and attempted to dance to dubstep with some older guys in leiderhosen.
I'm literally watching a webcam of the Vegas strip right now and it is making me sad.
Randomize
