when I scratched it gently some sort of watery looking stuff came out...so then I just stopped thinknig about it.
i just missed the spain goal because i was puking in the bathroom. damn you open bar.
Life lesson learned last night, if you are too drunk to use the atm leave the strip club
I think I'm finally maturing. I'm happy he found someone. Good for him. I sincerely hope she doesn't choke on his tiny penis.
how bad is she
captain morgan with tits
so, she was so drunk she tried stabbing me with a corn dog stick
I really really need to have and out of body experience just so I can talk to myself about this shit that I'm doing with my life.
You yelled "I gave my neighbor some of my bitch sauce" and then passed out. You now have drinking limits with us.
You were asking her how her mother would feel if y'all dated, etc. And I was yelling at you your girlfriends name over and over again in between gags and sobs.
You'd love her. She's outspoken like us. And appreciates a big penis and a strong drink.
He told me I was "too flexible." Excuse me?
Fell asleep on kitchen floor again, chicken nuggets everywhere.
He hit me up on Grindr and called me "bro." I just have to assume that the sex is going to be bad.
All i want from a relationship is to get drunk watch pirates of the Caribbean and have sex
He ate me out in a limo while we were driving home. I love bars being open again!
Randomize
