i get turned down more than a collar. where are the desperate bitches i need to crawl to them
i just bought ciggarettes using my court citation as id. I've reached an all time low.
he said "you're pretty" then i made out with him. thats all it took
How do u explain cocaine to a 9 year old?
I couldn't walk, so he carried me all the way home; and then I told him that I wasn't drunk enough to fuck him. Poor kid.
My favorite part was walking in the bathroom, you fixing yourself in the mirror, calling your reflection a fag, then throwing a haymaker into the paper towel dispenser before going back out to the bar.
Totally using formspring as an incognito way of making sure that girl from last night wasn't jailbait.
ughh I puked about 4 times on metro, no one seems to like the cool design I made on my shirt
I've officially done it all, fucked a girl wearing a twister board. ABC parties are amazing!
Bring gay.
By that I meant the rum. I just realized that my request made no sense. You always bring gay.
Word of advice, don't put your jar if peanut butter in the microwave, blue fire comes out
She's working this semester. Her dad saw he was listed as 'the atm' on her phone and cut off tuition for three months.
You will never be paid again to get drunk and tell off cops without being arrested. Once in a lifetime opportunity
You're right. Fuck my job. I'm in.
Twist to Josh's story, he had a gyro in his hand and never dropped it even after he got knocked the fuck out
Pray for me. I just had a sex dream about Debbie Wasserman-Schultz.
Randomize
