sooo how much is appropriate to spend on a vibrator? what if it is really legit looking?
it must be christmas time, i've got a hankering to give a virgin a baby....
you kept lying down on the floor at the bar just to prove you could get back up
You nicknamed her "lazy eye" and were screaming across the bar at her to buy you a drink...
Found a pint glass in my snow pants.
Okay, lets just agree to keep all cutlery related activities to a minimum.
They're calling for 20 inches of snow but I'll have a dirtbike for emergency trips to the liquor store. Even if I crash it won't hurt.
I'm skipping the 'hey, how are you, I have to pick up something pointless at your apartment' excuse and just telling you I'm coming over to fuck.
I knew the only reason I bought a smartphone was to play "You're Havin My Baby" on the way to cvs to buy Plan B.
"I gave a guy a handjob last night, on a dog bed, inside a fireplace. It's going to be a good year."
You are going to come home to a suitcase in the fridge. Just go with it.
Eating a grilled cheese at a strip club... good idea??
Yeah, tell that to my thumb. Cause it was up my ass all night waiting for you.
This is a test message to see whether or not the recipient is alive.
Stop trying to mix nacho cheese and sex. Guys don’t want hot cheese near their junk. Pick a better fetish
Randomize
