fun fact: cucumber in vinegar with pepper = best ever high snack
just saw a prosititute with a baby stroller...question is...if the baby wakes up is the blow job free?
but i have a bet that her boyfriend is going to try and deflower her tonight so i better get a move on if i want to videotape it
Beverly Hills, 90210. Cleveland Browns, 0.
I can't, I'm busy. I've been walking around Tokyo on google maps for an hour.
She threw up a whole curly fry. A. WHOLE. CURLY. FRY.
Is it bad that I stopped wanting to fuck her as soon as I noticed she had dry skin?
I sometimes completely doubt that you're straight.
oh i have no idea about his personality. i imagine it's the same as it was- except now combined with a receding hairline and a beer gut
You missed a lot. I drank contact solution thinking it was water, vodka thinking it was water and some unidentified substance that reminded me of pine sol thinking it was water..
Is it acceptable I'm laying in bed drinking airplane bottles?
In our world? Yes, but I'm disappointed yoiu are wasting airplane bottles. Save them for sneaky occasions
Did i mention i'm like the equivilent of a prepubescent boy suffering from preejaculacy? I just about creamed my pants when he grabbed my hand..
She finally pulled over after almost hitting 4 cars and a semi and asked me if i was rwady i told her to let my penis to come back out
It seems that only way I've actually improved myself after 2 years of writing for the school newspaper is that I've mastered the art of descriptive words to improve my sexting skills
You woke up butt naked, peed yourself said something about jumbo shrimp, and passed back out 10 seconds ltr..
It might be whiskey, but I view Marge and Homer Simpson as something to strive for
Randomize
