Dude if it is possible to orgasm from shitting i think it just happened.
I am no longer a man. I just realized I prefer Spongebob to college football.
I just don't understand how my upright asian catholic roommate is getting more than me.
I cant wait for your democrat phase to be over.
There's a knife in my toilet. And I meant to ask you last night if you got a hair cut?
Travis is back on this booty and burgers thing. If I'm his delivery service for food he better fuck me how I want.
Made out with a chick in front of a girl I'm banging and successfully reDENNISed her within 9 hours
So apparently we wrote "Lube Shopping" in Paula's diary on every friday for the rest on the year....
It was one of the greatest weekends of my life. And that's even after factoring in spraying myself in the face with the bidet.
Only you two could pull off a partner swap with honeymooners
The drunk fake out is her specialty. She'll agree to come with us and two seconds later we check to make sure she's still there and we see her booking it down the hall in the opposite direction.
You know I've done a lot of messed up stuff. But I never thought I would have to put a bandaid on my dick. Yet here we are.
He's got a british accent, a tounge ring, and he's wearing an eye patch... Of corse I'm fucking him
Well, I have no idea where my underwear is, so yea I would say it was a good weekend.
Just flash them and yell "JUDGE THESE BITCHES"
Randomize
