I think tonya harding is in my dwi class!
Ask her how she and Jeff Gillooly split the cats after the divorce.
if she leaves who will i have to secretly talk about behind thier back
I'm sorry. Both for you two breaking up and because I just ate some of your cheez it's.
We are NOT roofying him just to get him to pass out so we can build a masive snow cock in his yard.
You were hugging the toilet and shouting "don't let fatty eat me" through the closed door.
She just landed. Popped over for a BJ and left. I'm a fan of layover layovers.
in the future when you find clothing in your street, just assume it's mine.
I'm cleaning my apartment while naked. Anyone who says that's not why they want to live on their own is lying.
Naked snow angels was a very bad idea. My vag is now frozen shut.
I didn't want sex last night, but she charmed my dick out of my pants like a snake charmer.
It is 5:00PM and I'm just now putting on underwear.
Listening to The Little Mermaid soundtrack should cure my drunkeness right?
Do you know anything about how the saran wrap ended up on my toilet seat?
boys just don't understand what they're missing out on.
he's missing out on my boobs looking marvelous this evening.
Love that I’m sending my uber driver a thank you message for taking me home via mcdonalds tonight before I’m messaging my date from tonight! Lol
Randomize
