its not stalking. its research.
dude i just saw a drunk guy attempt to get by IUPD and throw a uprooted bleacher seat over the edge of the stadium. funniest thing of life.
details please.
they caught him 10 rows from the top. the first thing he said was "wait I can explain, i just have to throw this over first."
We met on a dual walk of shame. It has to be love, we can't let that go to waste. I want to tell our children that story.
mom just found 19 empty wine bottles in my closet. i hate spring cleaning
I woke up wearing nothing but his lifeguard whistle..
I stumbled into my living room at 4 a.m. to find him hurling my laptop across the room and his pants around his ankles. Clearly his night didn't go as planned.
a kid who worked there came up to me and let me know you were sitting in the bathroom sink. he said it was fine, so i just kept checking on you.
I should have taken pre-gaming this lunch date more seriously.
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
Curse you and your alcoholic milkshakes.
You're welcome.
Yes but that point is quickly negated bc u should never have to search more than one room to find your underwear.
The Angel on my shoulder is now resorting to merely reminding me that, "You will regret this later." I'm not sure if he's learning how I think or just giving up. Either way, should make life a bit more interesting.
Dude there is a stripper at my door saying she has my birthday present. She knows my name...but it's not my birthday...
God works in mysterious ways my friend.
I'm so hungover I just peed on my hand and left it, didn't wash... Killin it in 2915
Literally, and I mean LITERALLY as in "not to be confused with a casual hyperbole", LITERALLY the day we broke up she slept with 3 different guys that night.
1) It's nice to see that the whole "English Major" thing is upping the quality of your rants 2) Have you considered that your dick was the cork holding her sluttiness in?
Randomize
