i hope when i become a housewife i'm more of a gretchen and less of a vicky
there is mayo everywhere what the fuckkkk
you realize that if you hadn't mouthed "we're getting laid tonight", i wouldn't have woken up with your ex this morning. just sayin
At what point in your drunken state would you actually believe that the cops wanted to party with you?
he was spitting whole peanuts projectile out of his mouth at the waitresses as they walked by and then yelled across the restaurant that he had "no problem kicking any of their asses"
Is it 3pm? Or am I losing my mind because it's pickled in vodka and diet coke?
thank you for extending my knowledge of the effects of vodka. speak of what happened last night and i will kill you and send your fingers to your loved ones.
Dude, you need better judgement.Trust me I know. I put my dick in the wrong mouths all the time
My uber driver just told me I smell like fun...still drunk at 7 am
Taco Bell is giving high school kids free tacos STEAL YOUR BROTHER'S WALLET I'LL BRING THE WEED.
Do u ever find yourself high af, watching American ninja warrior and crying at the athletes stories?
He also needs to focus on not being such a little bitch, but that's none of my business.
I JUST AGREED TO GO TO A CHILD'S BIRTHDAY PARTY AT A PLACE CALLED PUZZLE'S FUN DOME WHY DO I HATE MYSELF
Real life skills section of my resume: blow jobs, food knowledge trivia, sarcasm, mascaera application, sexting, tolerance of rail liquors
Had to clear my browser history. I figured if she used the search bar and her name came up, it might be a little creepy.
Randomize