I'm thinking of having one or both of my boobs out. They're small but they're mighty.
At barnes & noble, drinking beer out of thermoses, lookin legit.
Chasing bourbon with pepto... Dedication.
I definitely recall eating shredded cheese out of the bag while you were wearing that apron.
Just drove through Taco Johns wearing a drug rug and no pants. When I rolled down my window, the girl paused for a minute before saying "um... 4.07"
I do have sympathy for you. It's just not going to manifest as a blow job.
I just used cruise control in a 25 zone. When will this hangover end???
After she lost the bet I made her get on one knee so she could "Te-blow me"
Trumps. I've been wiping my ass with fast food napkins for 3 days.
In complete seriousness I think I am the highest person on earth
Dude. When are you coming home? I'm laying in bed watching the Grinch and trying to pet a cat that I'm not even sure exists.
You fed me pizza off a sword last night.
Over 50% of the drunkest nights I have ever had began with me saying "I'll just drink my dinner" to you.
She said my mask was creepy, took it off with her teeth, and proceeded to bite my neck. I love vampires.
i have a strong feeling that today will be a naked day for me...i don't feel like doing shit
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