I'm currently googling how to make a dress out of a trash bag. It's going to be a great night.
you left a note on your car that said " please dont tow, im to drunk to drive. safety first!"
The timing couldn't have been better if I planned it. His mom walked away, I vomited in their mulch, and then his mom came back and offered me bread.
Things I had in my bed when I woke up: an avocado, a toilet brush, and a note that says thanks but no thanks with the number of taco bell on it. WHAT DID I DRINK?
The door opens out but somehow she managed to kick it in..
You had the nerve to crowd surf to your own bedroom.. I guess watching Aladdin high was probably the best idea ever
I'm sitting on the toilet just to avoid my bosses look of disapproval
was I really that bad?
you army crawled across the kitchen floor, turned the cat into "super kitty" and crawled into the dog cage
If you set your screensaver to be a slides show, make sure you remove dick pics first. This lesson 1 of living with your great aunt
I'm stuck in a tree and request your assistance ASAP
Ultimate fat girl moment: I promised him my mouth for the night if he bought me a funnel cake..
On a scale of "huh, that's interesting" to "holy porn stars, batman". How good?
Definitely closer to "holy porn stars, batman".
How much weed should I buy my mom for her birthday?
Ccatlin cimbing thru th sunroof plz come
Those brownies did us in. I honestly blacked out completely.
What brownies? Ohmygod.
Randomize
