i just googled 'classy porn'. high, low, i dunno i just got bored of cum shots.
i feel like barbie the morning after an elton john party
When she sits down, she uses her fat rolls like an arm rest.
I'll tell you what, we couldn't have asked for better binge-drinking weather.
you were passed out in your cheese fries by the time he brought out your second order of french toast.
okay, I promise to stop paying strippers to hit you
Pillow talk just revealed that he originally thought I was 16.
Everything gets a little fuzzy after the flats of jello shots, but I do have a vague recollection of being at the top of a large human pyramid
I tackled a mailbox like a linebacker. He almost broke his hip and his friend lit a bottle rocket off inside of the car. Yes it was a successful night.
I'm sure you can think of a way to make money.. God didn't give you boobs that awesome to waste them feeding your children..
I gave him morning sex, a bag of cookies, and dropped him off at work. I believe I deserve the "best hookup award."
I have fence marks all over my body
I still can't believe I was army crawling thru his backyard at 2am..
Pretty penis doesn't make up for awkward eye contact.
he asked me why I let you steal the gnome, and you jumped out of the bathroom, yelled "you know why!" and ran outside with said gnome
Randomize
