Just saw an ad for "Liver-aid" how has this not become a life changing drug for millions?
I think you blew it when you asked her "Do you look good naked too, Or is it just the bra?"
yeah, we figured out that passing a joint between cars was a pretty bad idea
She came back in her actual cheerleader uniform. Made a bad bj tolerable.
Dude that bathroom stall was not tall enough to be doing lines in, guys kept peeking over and giving us high fives
GOOD NIGHT DREAM OF ALCOHOL SNO CONES
How bad is the voicemail?
You graded my boobs.... C minus. Asshole.
There are 27 signatures on my ass. What the hell happened last night?
Every time someone made a cup you congratulated them by letting them sign your ass.
Not genetic. He's drunk and texted me a dick pic. Not genetic. Thank God!
I'm at the local community college pretending to be a substitute for a computer applications class
I'm going to write a horror movie. It's going to be called "Fat People on a Squeaky Bed" and it's going to feature me laying in bed last night listening to my overweight roommate and her fat boyfriend tossing and turning all night
There is someone out there for you right now. And we will find her. Or him. Her. Her, we'll start with tits.
you missed 2am bagpipes and my roommate looking hot as fuck in a kilt
wait. i have to tell u something. and it has nothing to do with dildos or spiders
jump out the window naked night went bad
Randomize
