VAGINAS EVERYWHERE
they're staring at me
having sex with you is like teaching a dog to tango, it DOESN'T work
i just dedicated my kegstand to your breasts
Apparently my gaydar only works on americans. Frenchie capris has two topless chicks in our kitchen making him breakfast.
i was so fucked up i thought i was at home depot
You just begged me to mute the porn and watch her ass bounce while listening to dubstep the whole time.
I don't know what possessed you to do that, but you have to give the stripper more money before you try to check her oil or they are going to throw us out every time you do that.
Hey are you going to the pride parade? If so get me a shit ton of condoms
I JUST SEARCHED GINGER COCK ON TUMBLR AND THEY'RE ALL REALLY WELL HUNG? I'M CRYING. IS THIS HOW GINGERS KEEP REPRODUCING?
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU?
He also reminds me slightly of a pirate which i find strangely attractive
Like not to be gross, he was eating me out while I was smoking a bowl. It was like a rap video
I'm just imagining Oprah like "you're popping a boner, and you're popping a boner...EVERYONE IS POPPING A BONER"
I imagine you as a cat holding your burrito with two paws and cutely eating it
So many questions...the two most important are, where the fuck is my booze and how did you even get the couch through the door?
hurry up. it's a friday night and i'm drinking in my office by myself. wearing a stewie griffin costume. the cleaning lady is judging me.
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