Those balls look pretty dangerous.
i have rugburns grass stains and some road rash. im an all terrain slut
A 300 lb dude in a sundress yelling bible verses while wearing a raggedy anne wig is just as funny as I thought it would be. Thank you san francisco.
My vagina supports interfraternal relations
I just found a 2 minute video on my phone of you throwing up in a fake plant.
So I hear you're taking over showing your penis responsibilities now that I'm gone?
Don't judge them too harshly for getting kicked out of a strip club. Happens to the best of us.
You are the coolest girlfriend ever.
I was about to share my drunken story from the weekend, but two friends getting married and one finding out she's pregnant makes Saturday in jail look a little suspect.
All three of my roommates have their significant others over. We're all hanging out in the living room. It's like I'm the trifecta of third-wheeling
going on a mission to find my pants and the guy who stole my beer don't wait up
hey at least you are getting hit on, i spent all day researching cat sedatives
Also I'd apologize for texting you flipping my shit about the science of hair growth while I was shrooming last night but we know each other better than that
Drunk you needs to learn how to call sober me, so sober me can talk your drunk vagina down.
are you watching the world series?
I've made out with alex bregman... so yes
Just got an email from match.com trying to match me with My ex..I nearly pissed myself laughing
Randomize
