and pubic hair rears its ugly head again
I think I sharted a yagerbomb.
Actions speak louder than words. Her actions scream crazy.
the 3rd commandment: and god said, if you buy a handle.. you must finish it.
he was screaming in a recently acquired accent that he paid for delivery and they could cancel the entire order if they didn't come upstairs
I thought you said it was going to get worse not hilarious.
the delivery boy turned out to be my students mother. now she knows that i have incredibly low standards AND thanks to the fact that he still has dialup the pizza tracker was way off and she rang the bell and he answered mid bong rip.
I didnt realize we were having a competition in poor decision making skills
how else could I explain the last few years
Rule #127: If your going to try fuck a married guy, you gotta be hotter then his wife; diet starts today.
Speaking of gay, some dude in a life vest just goes, we should pull our dicks out! To larry. Were leaving now. I saw penis
I feel like we should at least be hungover if we're gonna be this grown up.
We need to figure out what we are doing for halloween asap. I'm not going out like a punk ass bitch burger king again this year.
FYI, grandma is already drunk and using a bed sheet as a table cloth.
Pro: she asked me to be a bridesmaid. Con: i only have about nine months to get over a phobia of midget strippers.
hey dude, just got with the girl in H4. so mark H off the apartment list
haha we are half through our lease and already checked off 17 letters
there is a tent in the living room. its a vip tent room. i want in.
I told the border patrol officer she was smuggling drugs in her ass. I doubt she cheats on me again.
Randomize
