what if the hokey pokey really is what its all about?
Learn some fucking English or leave me alone! "Your" is for something that belongs to you, like 'your herpes'. And "you're" is a contraction for "you are", like "you're not sleeping with me".
How do you tell someone they are only invited if they put out?
Just found a picture of me licking the bouncers ear last night
we need to drink more beer. the fridge wont close.
Just had an epiphany about how to drink more effectively in the shower. While walking across campus carrying a Franzia bag like Santa
So you're mad that you saw a penis at a swinger's party? That's rational
We thought it was a good idea to send a picture to our HS science teacher where she's smoking a joint and I'm holding a monkey, and he invited us to lunch. NEW LEVEL UNLOCKED.
I can't. I'm not drunk enough for this information.
So I just bought e from my sophomore home ec teacher. How's your weekend going?
The toilet wouldn't flush at the club so I literally just shat in the garbage.
I dressed up as a "typical white girl" which meant I wore my yoga pants and uggs all night. BEST. IDEA. EVER. Most comfy halloween everrrr.
You put on some guys Birkenstocks that were abandoned on the dance floor overtop of your flats. Then ran out of the bar high gives the bouncer and said "look at my new kicks" then he was like woah wait a minute someone is missing those and made you return them. You were very upset
We were 69ing, but at an angle so we could both still watch Wall-E
Everytime I feel sad about the break up; I recall that she is a Bernie supporter and feel all better
we went outside for a smoke and when we came back in you were ptfo on the floor holding the phone to your ear. Pizza pizza was on the line.
Randomize
