This morning when you woke up you looked like one of the Wii Bowling people. I think it was the eyebrows combined with the sambuca
I really liked your hair last night but that style makes it really hard to hold it while you puke
Yeudjkisdjxbfceryuj. i love having a qwerty keyboard just so i can do that.
Do you ever just think "I could really go for a good 30 minute blowjob". I do. Everytime jill smiles.
whatever a "slut portfolio" is, mine is apparently almost complete
If only we could all 3 say fuck school to be stoner flight attendants
Please, take the 2 shots of vodka that I left as an apologie.
It was close. I was the girl scoping out where all the garbage cans were located in the class just in case.
This is why you don't heavily drink before 2 midterms.
I raged so hard that I was so hungover today I threw up out of a car window going 50mph cause my parents didn't pull over quick enough ...sorry to the people behind us
After we had sex he told me it was a "goodbye gift". We haven't talked since.
When you licked the fourth stranger's cheek the bar tender pretty much ordered us to get you out.
You're wasting your dick. It needs to be bestowed upon the masses.
I'd climb him like a horny MILF spider monkey.
Like I'll lick your nuts to make you feel better if you don't get it
Well, I was arguably the most sober adult in the house by 1 in the afternoon, so I'd say Superbowl Shitshow was a success.
Randomize
