I think I'd remember a dick in my mouth
I fell asleep with crest white strips on and ate one...
Just went to my life planning class. The professor has a braid going halfway down his back and an earring.
I tipped the hot bartender my entire wallet. Again.
can you please explain how one drink turns into 5 street signs with their poles lying around my room
You challenged yourself to walk backwards all the way to the bar... And you did
The fact that I'm going to be living with you is starting to make me worry about my heatlh.
Ya that ship has sailed dude
It was like giving head to a cactus.
Maybe just the first 2 wks of Nov can be dick detox.
I want you to get off the plane and get directly into my pants
well some coke just fell out of my nose in my partners meeting so i'd say my day's off to a fantastic start
Jesus christ. I put you on speaker when you called me last night and you told me to brush my teeth with a dick.
Well waking up naked, covered in Chex mix is not how I planned to start my Wednesday if that's what you're getting at.
I'm shotgunning a meatball sub and watching flip or flop. i have reached a new level of singledom.
I woke up spooning with two strangers on Saturday morning... I felt like a sexual sandwich
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