is it cool if i come over and use your computer?
what happened to yours?
i got a little to drunk last night and threw up on it...then i tried to wash it off under the sink.
we just drove by a car that was painted for a grad, it said "you done it!" with a confederate flag bumper sticker next to it. i love kentucky
Either I'm a lot drunker than I thought, or he has three dicks....
I think I'm gonna have to go with the first one...
I feel like somehow my uterus ended up in my ribcage from all the keg stands i did last night..
do you know how hard it is to walk a mile drunk on 151 it's hard yards are soft and every girl looks good
you were stumbling down richmond carrying a girl in a nurse costume. its not even halloween dude
Occasionally I curse my inner 15 year old when I'm fulfilling their dreams as a slut, but I roll with it.
I AM COVERED IN FAKE BLOOD AND REAL CUM. I AM AWESOME
If we accept the love we think we deserve do we also accept the sex we think we deserve?
The fact that you're allowing Santa to dry hump your ass is sort of a dealbreaker
No. You're getting a Viking funeral and I'm pawning your shit.
I'm glad you don't care about kids. That's one of your better qualities.
I haven't had a bra on since I quit my job.
I think putting on real pants was half my issue with today
He said he broke his back in 3 spots & my first thought was "there goes my booty call".
Did u have a 2nd thought
I need a new booty call.
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