i just saw a man dusting the fake palm trees at the mall
...welcome to nebraska
his penis is like a homeless cat. ever since I've satisfied him he keeps showing up on my doorstep ask for more.
I just ran from Santa Claus in Kroger
I dont think he stole the pillow. I mean if he wanted a souvenir, my thong was on the nightstand.
she was talking at me constantly for like 20mins. i kept praying for a brain hernia but it kept not happening...
2 things. 1. I just gave her a 6 hour long marathon fucking for America. 2. Thought of a new invention halfway through, and it's flawless.
I cant do that to my vagina yet. its my prize posession.
I offered you a bag but you said "I gotta break in the new carpet" and you puked all over the floor
I know this is random but to this day I regret not having sex with you on that atv on the top of that mountain underneath the American flag.
They made out. Sounded like hippos drinking water
Just saw a woman trying to order Mcdonalds at a trash can. God bless America.
omg his dad is hot
... I'm currently away at the moment. Leave a msg since I cannot express how much I can't help you stop ruining peoples lives.
I'm high. The text bubbles floating do no justice to the underwater experiences
I'm mainly pissed because I shaved fucking EVERYTHING for this. WITH SHAVING CREAM. Men do not appreciate how rarely that happens.
the D I S R E S P E C T of sending someone nudes, them opening it, and not bothering to respond
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