I'm so drunk that I ordered a root beer at the bar. Whoops?
I just watched a trucker jack off to a picture of Ellen DeGeneres at a truck stop in Nebraska.
I cant talk right now they are about to fuck again
I just called a child with a Yankees jersey a jerkoff. so much for a friendly day @ the ballpark
Now I'll never know if Megan finds a millionaire.
The bubbles in my bathtub are singing to me in german....
like semen in my mouth is absolutely disgusting but i'd still like to experience it
So I have a scar from when the stripper tore off my underwear .... Best birthday ever
I actually cannot wait for your visit. I miss people who make me look like the virgin mary in comparison.
I can't imagine anything that has a removal ass flap as being sexy
Bored at work. googling vodka waffles.
I already popped my bottle of Rose and took my boxers off. No can do muchacho
Want to come over and dangle your tits on top of me like a skewer?
I’M DRUNK AND EXCITED.
I aimed for bossy but it came out slutty
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