The cop didn't care that I was peeing on the wall of my dorm building... All he said was, "come on, it's 9am."
If you made a robot out of pillows would he be nice? It's hard to imagine a mean pillow robot. And who came up with the idea of shaving their legs?
I feel like I am becoming dumber sitting here in class than I would be sitting on the couch smoking weed.
you kept talking about how hot andy milinakis is and the things you would do with him. no more tequila from him.
just left a line of flour and citric acid on the dresser for my roommate to find. teach that bastard to steal my coke!
when i got there he was on top of an air mattress in the middle of the pool with a bag of doritos and a 40 telling people he needed his space.
I don't even want to go. i just want to be a hermit and live in a cave with an elephant that pisses vodka
i have two emotions: emotionless and blind with rage
I found a bag of weed while packing. Now packing is like creating tiny universes inside of boxes.
When the cop tells you to leave the pool, does that mean you have to put your bathing suit back on too?
Hit a new low. I'm FB stalking him while he is lying in bed sleeping naked next to me. He fell asleep with FB still open and unlocked on his iPad.
Also I'm eating leftovers with a pair of bullet removal forceps (unused) because I don't have a fork.
I can't hookup with a guy in my car because it smells like Taco Bell..
the sex was good. her showing me pictures of her 4 year old daughter afterwards was not.
It's like a donut of clothes around a pair of heels. Like they were transported to another dimension naked.
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