You're my little dorito
When we made out her lip\nose ring fell out in my mouth. Awkward?
I was found on the hood of someone elses car... Who would've thought there were 2 white nissans?
He told me they were just razor bumps!
Sorry you had to see that, but on the bright side...at least I trust you enough to have sex in front of you
I swear it started with good intentions but then my slutty side took over and we started playing strip checkers
Woke up with a migrane, threw up blood, then my headache went away. I'm going to convince myself that it was just a bad batch of blood so I can drink again tonight
I'm concerned you might be passed out on a random rooftop right now. Not concerned enough to do anything about it. Hope you're alive. Goodnight.
Won't anyone wonder why I'm mute, bald, and wearing an eye patch?
Omg I'm puking right now and then sneezed four times in a row. You don't know pain til this happens to you.
Dude I introduced the hot Russian girl to the hot Ukrainian girls. I am a UN ambassador
In tonight's episode of Travis' Fucked up Sex Life, Travis breaks into a building at Tulane to have sex with an attractive Asian man.
So my POF profile is full of Archer references. Only guys who get them will be getting any response to their messages.
you were on a whole other level. you went home with him because he said "you got some light ass eyes"
Hey. You got pizza and sex. How much more can you ask for?
Randomize
