she offered me iced tea and went to go change.then her dad came in the door.i thought i was on how to catch a predator.
I'm in that akward stage between jailbait and cougar
thats the mark of a good guy. when you can period all over his leg and he still thinks you're beautiful!
I'm thinking I had intended to send you pics cuz I woke up naked
please stop yelling "ITS NARNIAAAAAAAAA" out of our window at the lone person walking home in the snow
I just threw up on the floor. And we're gonna fuck on the beer pong table, so keep everyone upstairs.
Why is there a video on my phone of us trying to snort a line of Reeces Pieces with you chanting "This is how fat girls party"?
My house smells like bleach. Also, I do not feel bad about all the stuff I stole from the hospital while I was there.
I'm pretty sure the girl in the stall next to me is waiting on me to leave so she can poop but I'm doing the same thing so it's like a Mexican standoff
I tried to twerk on a barn in 3 inch heels at a party last night and nose dived into mud. These were all new friends. I'm probably not allowed back. Cool.
Whatever the emoticon is for "balls deep". That.
Bianca brought a stripper home he's making me breakfast
Go forth my friend, but don't do any of that fruitful and multiplying shit.
Breaking news: when you're gone every towel is a dick towel
Like I blink, and he's face first in my vagina.
Randomize
