Just looked in the bathroom mirror before getting to this exam to see If I look as bad as I feel & the answer is no. I look amazing, even in yesterday's clothes
I am going to invent a chocolate mix for sperm.
I just saw a guy wearing a tuxedo shirt under his overalls. That is true iowa class right there
well yea, now i know i won't get hair in my teeth...
So apparently last night I was running around columbus circle station screaming that Obama was a pussy and that "waterboarding should always be an option" lol
He gave her the shocker .. I didn't know people really did that.
She's never going to forget it... Christmas Anal.
I was about to smoke a bunch of weed and lay naked while I cried all day
I stared at his lazy eye for so long, he thought I had one too. Then we bonded over our lazy eyes. I had to fake one all night. My head is fucking killing me. NEVER pretend to have a lazy eye.
The shit I just took was my body's way of telling me bourbon and mixed nuts aren't an appropriate dinner. Well played, colon. WELL. PLAYED.
Now the circle is complete. Just interviewed a guy who was a higher up member of the team I worked for in my job before this place
The bad news is that I stole all your drugs. The good news is that ITS KICKING IN!
MIDGETS
????
When we were all out of beer you took a bite out of the cardboard beer box and said "close enough."
I woke up with a twisted ankle and was covered in lube. Not entirely sure what happened last night
Randomize
