I wanna eat
then frost
then eat your cupcake
yeah so i didn't even realize i was on meth until the next morning
we were spooning and you were the big spoon but you insisted that I call you "the ladle"
we couldn't afford a big pool so we bought 2 kiddie pools and put the inflatable beer pong table inbetween. get over here. now.
He managed to light the Jello on fire...
He poured syrup on all those broken dishes because "syrup is magical, and by the time we wake up, they'll be fixed."
I think their strategy was based on people bein at a beach, seein a rainbow, and havin an orgasm at the same time.
Just did an upsidedown spineboard shot. Gotta love lifeguard parties.
I'm gonna take my bong and hot box the pirate ship in the daycare playground.
We're listening to space jam. This can only be a good omen.
So here's a brief summary of my weekend: last night I drank four glasses of Death Punch, grabbed the toaster, said "This is mine", put it in my pants and walked out the front door.
Getting drunk at 9 am is not a super power.
How many Wendy's frosties do you think it would take to fill a bathtub?
cake and sex. what better combination is there.
Double dirt bag award winner tonight. He picked me up in his wife's car.
Randomize