i just had a dream that i could control how black Will Smith was with a remote.i need to stop sleeping with the TV on
billy ray cyrus is narrating a show on the history channel. my iq cant decide whether to go up or down.
Why do you apologize after every time we have sex?
Is it bad that on the course evaluation it said "do you normally try harder than other students in class" and i circled "absolutely false"?
If I die on my trip, you're my chosen person. Nightstand-vibrators. Computer-iphoto naked pictures. I hope you feel honored.
I have surprise drugs for everyone
Also, am I the only one who noticed he didn't fuck you until after you were technically a cripple? Or am I reading into this too much? Congrats on that btw
It's surprise blowjob week. You should be excited.
I hate vagina strikes, but I must not stray from my path. My boyfriend will know the true meaning of blue balls.
unless you have a dick and you were thinking of chopping that off
I feel like your personal Bdsm barbie...
There is a cooked ham in the washing machine.
The drag queen you used to date and the girl you brought over last night are discussing your sex noises in my living room. I'm changing my locks.
He kept saying "Welcome to Indianapolis" over and over while we were having sex...because that's his hometown. I was scared and confused... I didn't know if I should have said thank you or what.
my dad walked in on me peeing into the trashcan in our kitchen last night at like 2am. wtf
Randomize
