Whats a good hint for stop bitching im gonna give you head
As soon as he told me I had a 'pretty laugh' I knew I'd be putting out more than I had originally planned.
Just interrupted a freshman tour to ask where the sexual health center is. Figured I'd just give us all what we were really looking for.
He was banging holes in the kitchen wall with pots. They tried to pull him away but only managed to pants him. He kept "drumming".
No, I'm in the bathroom trying to scrub off the 16 tally marks on my wrist so its not so obviously to the world that I puked on a couch last night.
I'm pretty sure this is how polyamorous relationships begin.
Lemme guess, I was the one completely shit faced making out with the 50 year old...
LOL, wrong number bro. Good luck trying to figure out what happened though..
drunk grocery shopping was not as bad of an idea as i thought, this salmon cat food tastes a lot like tuna
If we can't get laid at a bar crawl, we should just quit life.
i wasnt laughing because you were puking, i was laughing because three yards away there was a couple seriously getting it on
continuing my moment killer tradition in the best possible way
It's Wednesday. And it's about that time to remind everyone that my priorities from last weekend have not changed moving forward into this weekend.
He said that he made a girl squirt to the ceiling and I got curious
And, omg, my eyelids are on fire. I think the internet let me down. :(
who knew magic tricks and sex would actually go together?
It was platonic naked porno viewing, I swear.
Randomize
