I'm 3 blocks south of you watching drag queens.
I DON'T KNOW WHERE WE ARE WE ARE TOO FUCKING ELEVATED.
Me either! Fuck yeah, 12th and something. 12th and hamburger stand.
I think dad's getting high again. His last google search was "awesome ping pong shit."
I'm walking down the halls of our hotel and listening for sex noises and knocking when I do.
I bought a dress specifically for face plant durability... this is how serious I am about my drunk status this weekend
Apparently I made a stripper cry last night when I paid her $10 to go away
As he walked by me and gave me his dreamy smile full of dimples all i could think was 'I gave you chlamydia'.
The shit I just took was four, very distinct colors. Jager night was a success
Totally just drove past you riding your bike. I was like damn, that looks like a cute little hipster boy, and then I realized it was you and that I'd already banged you and it kinda made my day. I hope you're well. Come over soon?
I just washed my birth control down with captain because I don't have any water and I need to wash the blood off my face before I leave my room.....
Remember when I said I had my shit together?
It's been two whole weeks and I haven't missed a single class. I deserve 69 blunts.
He said he loves me but he haven't eaten me out yet. So I don't think he means it.
Enjoy the penises
I got the beer and the first aid kit. You get the tequila and burn cream. We should be set for the camping trip.
Why were you doing tequila shots out of Boston Pizza dip containers?
Randomize
