if you like me you must not know who I am
I woke up this morning and "The Wood" was on tv. Touche TBS, touche.
Does my status still say I suck cocks? I don't know how to change it
Hmmm just stalked him and according to his facebook he wants "whatever he can get." obviously he'd be open to the idea.
You know that joke about taking tylenol pm and jerking off? you don't always win. sometimes you wake up in the morning naked lubed up cock in hand to the realator and would be perspective buyers laughing at you
MEET ME OUTSIDE YOUR HOUSE IN THREE MINUTES. BE DRUNK. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
Saturday evening, however, will be my vodka and bubble wrap extravaganza.
I don't think I even want to know why you are sending my husband pictures of your nutsack.
Are you still free tonight?
Oh shit I kinda forgot and took acid
Didn't pick classes because we were out all weekend...only open course is "alcohol and drug problems". Fucking ironic.
We drunkenly built a couch fort and fucked in it. I've known her since preschool. This was every childhood fantasy mixed with adult dreams come true.
I don't want to date him...I just want him to cheat on his girlfriend with me.
It's not my fault I make her feel like a Taylor Swift album
just licked whipped cream off some model's nipple... just coming clean for when the pic gets on instagram because i am not untagging that shit
There is sex in the air. Be careful where you walk.
Randomize
