I'll just stay a virgin forever then
You still have to go anyway
Then I guess I'll have to start sleeping around
everyday i am more and more thankful i can still check the no box for "have you ever been convicted of a felony?" on applications
I wish we could tell the moving van to wait at the strip club for a while.
he put $150 on the cabs dash so 9 of us could pile in and ride 3 blocks to the apartment.
I like how he had to correct himself in stating that I was the fat one in the threesome.
I'm kinda amazed by how many times I've texted the word penis today.
Dude, I had no choice. I was defending my genitals.
He said the pain stops when I get my shit together and stop being a drugged out alcoholic mess. Could have just said no.
I did a kegel this morning to determine if I had been penetrated during last night's blackout. Nope.
It's just great that Easter is on 4/20 this year. Now everyone can enjoy the Easter egg hunts. And being around my whole family.
I'm not sorry for loving America more than everyone else
I smoked too much. I'm sitting on my balcony and I keep getting lost. Help me
what happened to you last night?
I dunno man, i pissed in a urinal, sent you a picture of my vagina and woke up with 25 bar stamps on my arms.. you tell me
I feel like I lost a fight with an 800 lb gorilla made of tequila
Btw you guys passed out eating DP dough and watching Pocahontas... on a monday
it was stoner heaven..
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