is it bad that i think of my life in terms of the sims? like when i'm hitting it off with someone, i really wish a plus sign would appear above my head. and when i throw up from drinking way too much, a minus sign.
It only happened twice. Once we used extra virgin olive oil and once I used saliva and brute force.
i feel like i'm a professional at blowjobs i can deep throat an entire spatula
So I just walked into the bathroom, and there was this kid, talking to his mom, while taking a shit. I flushed the toilet next to him and heard him say into the phone, "No, I'm not. I'm in my dorm."
He's only a little bit crosseyed.
I think this is one situation where "a little bit" doesn't mean much.
he brought me knee pads...is that sweet or weird?
So i just got guilted into doing a tequila shot by a group of guys chanting "USA!" at me.
How unacceptable would it be to bar hop with a funnel in the square? It's Halloweekend and I plan on going hard. I can claim it goes w/ my costume. But I don't think the MIMITW uses funnels.
Pretty sure they aren't letting me back to karaoke night after I screamed "fuck every one of you tasteless hillbillies!!" because I felt they didn't clap loud enough for Jen.
Guys with values who care about your personality don't cum on your back the 2nd time they you sleep with you.
She's going to hate me
Yeah well one of her many personalities always hates you.
The rest will just start to agree
So I'm guessing that puking on a camper is a straight path to instant termination?
...and that's why girls with IBS don't paint their nails
So, anyways, aside from wanting to seduce my roommate for booze, how's everything been
it's a shower with the lights off kind of day
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