He wanted to take me out and said we could "go huntin in the woods."
Joey just asked me if I ever got anything stuck in my vag.
was it embarrassing when you had to say yes?
She's trying to master eating with her feet. She said it was be she "always has to be prepared."
maybe i'll make good life choices and keep my legs closed. periodically txt me friday and saturday night saying "baby carrot round 2" that should stop me.
1.) You left the rest of your whiskey here 2.) I drank your whiskey 3.) then made a steam roller out of the bottle 4.) Everything tastes like whiskey
I'll be a little late, "getting ready for the party" turned into "smoking a bowl and doing lines in my room for an hour and a half." But I'm on my way now. With coke. And weed.
Well call me tomorrow, it's a great story that may lead to me being fired and/or possibly being buried in a shallow grave somewhere out in wine country.
I still think the kiddie pool full of jello option is worth exploring. Just sayin'.
It was the best of bangs; it was the worst of bangs.
Dude it was bad... like you fell asleep around the toilet after drinking from the back tank bad.
Reached a new low last night. Passed out. With my pants down. On the toilet. At ihop. Waitress had to wake me up.
This guy is like Don Jon! Im over here this weekend and at least four times I've heard porn on his phone thru the bathroom door.
I may have had several rum punches and then gone to the store and used European cucumbers to prove my baton twirling prowess.
He grabbed my tits and sang "you are so beautiful" to them before faceplanting into my chest
Someone threw up pink in the shower, there's a golf cart tipped over on the lawn and Cousin Brian is missing. What could Friday night throw at us?
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