Call me "white mamba"
Your dick is not a dangerous deadly poisonous snake
It is white.
I totally understand Scottish logic. No underwear+skirt=great
we made a giant pot of alcholic jello. i filled a gallon bag and brought it to dorms. desk guy gave me weird looks, he doesnt realize this is how i will pass all of my room searches
Molly wanted me to tell you, "she hasnt shit on the floor in a while" like she thinks its an accomplishment.
i have a bunch of little boys around me trying to hit on me
dont be selfish, show some boob
it's sad when i round the corner and the dog goes directly for the liquor store
May have caused an international incident. More details after we taxi in.
she's just sitting here eating cilantro out of my herb garden and watching some show about ducks on tv and laughing, what the fuck did you give her?
You destroyed the landscape if my vagina FOREVER.
That awesome feeling when you are pooping on the same toilet that nobel laureates have pooped on
By the way seagulls wings are very soft. And the lesbian and or by sexual twins say hello. Be home in the little bit time frame.
I know. But whatever I'll just eat cold pizza and play with my cats by candlelight
so...the lady doing my pedi totally noticed the human bite marks on my calf. Who says marriage ends your sex life? Love u!
But idk if I cried about life then banged him or banged him and then cried. Chicken or the egg?
Im at a south american orphan benefit auction drinking stoli in a coffee mug, this is what my life has become, thanks a lot community college
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