anyone who buys me chipotle gets an automatic hj
Her eyes are really red like she jus got out of the hospital and shes coughing ...80 ppl at her school do have swine flu dude
So your saying just a blow job?
i wish there was an iPhone app that lets you write a TeXt LiKe tHiS
dude...come out of the closet already
Just got walked in on during safety inspections
Think you passed?
Dude we need to petition the city about running buses later, none of my booty calls own cars
after giving each other head, we had a really nice post-oral heart to heart. found out he lost his virginity in a threesome.
Everything's fine I'm just stoned and my pillows are too soft.
I was mid-sentence and you stopped me and said, "Yeah.. for my vaginas sake, I'm gonna need you to stop talking right now."
he forgot we were at my place and not his so he tried kicking me out of my own apartment by saying "so, you can go whenever you want...."
Omg, you would have loved the guy I almost hit with my car tonight
Good morning! So would you prefer me to show up kind of late or on time but looking like I got chewed up and spat out by an episode of Buffy the Vampire Slayer?
this is a save-me-from-tijuana-tequila-and-hoookers booty call. if i don't hear from you by 8pm i'm grabbing my passport
if i'm not back tomorrow call the embassy
I'm so glad I can be everyone's guide to the world of fucked up kinks
I now have scissors specifically made for cutting dicks off.
My cat is sitting in the window watching the neighbor's dogs doing it. I think she's lonely too.
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