You should dream of me :)
I'm going to dream of single life.
Do you think girls in gamma phi sit around and think about how much they suck?
shes a baton twirler.. i expected her to be better with her hands.
I'm using the size of your dick as a guage to see how big something is on Amazon. Any questions?
There are 3 guys sitting in the elevator in lawn chairs wearing sunglasses and holding beers. the hallway rugs are stuffed in a trash can. i've never been so glad to be sober.
HOLY SHIT HE'S TRYING TO EAT HIS FOOT. THIS IS THE BEST DAY OF MY LIFE.
why did I try to FaceTime with 311 last night?
I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser.
I had to watch them play Salty Cracker. I have never seen a grown man cry with a boner before
Please tell me you've ingested more than weed and Oreos today
After a little too much, I decided public urination was a constitutional right.. Nearly got deported for that one
Status: mom bitching about grandma not shutting the fuck up, while not shutting the fuck up. Dear Jesus give me strength or more bourbon.
I already popped my bottle of Rose and took my boxers off. No can do muchacho
i doubt you are even in possession of a crowbar.
I suggest you not find out the hard way
There are flour footprints all over the house. Either u guys are trying to pull that Paranormal Activity shit on me again, or u got drunk and tried to make pancakes.
Randomize
