I used to have a blog that was basically all about ****** and all of his sexual misadventures
I mean it made tucker max look like a fucking alterboy
But unfortunatley his mom did a google search and found it
So drunk i had to piss sitting down...
Granted, we were all high and wasted, but the fact that she thought we couldn't see her making out with the charles in charge lookalike bc she was holding up a pillow in front of them is a little ridiculous
Did he look more like 80s Charles in Charge or the old one that had that VH1 show? It makes a difference.
I just accidently tagged myself in the picture of the 16 year olds spreading their legs in bikinis. Failure.
when i woke up this morning i blew my nose and ash came out.. i'm not sure what to make of this.
Single handedly the worst sex I've ever had just went down. Its like we both laid there after word-less thinking about the other " could they be any worse in bed" ?
His penis was definitely too big to be the type that wants commitment. Shit.
Her boyfriend only talks to me because I know her period schedule
Hey. Hope youre not too hungover. Also, did you put a Christmas tree in my guest bathroom and cover it with condoms?
It's like getting ready for my vaginas own execution
I feel like I'm in an ocean of eels jacking me off
How many of my tattoos need to be visible for an outfit to be considered "see-through"?
I didn't want to see any of his nipples and now I've seen all three. Thanks.
You have no idea the kind of bodily contortions I had to do to access your neighbor's WIFI
It's just a friend who is recently single and I'm going to heal his broken heart with my vagina
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