my mom just threw water on me to get me awake and is screaming "where is my fucking car?!"
you gave me a ride last nite what the hell did you do with it after you left me?
if you don't start talking to me i'm gonna tell your gf that you said she tastes bad
When do i get to see u next week?
When I teabag your entire family
wtf
I'm guessing you saw the bathroom?
No that means he must've used the nipple clamps
found inexpensive tickets to Norway. Questioning if its legal. PLEASE tell me you remebered the walkie talkies and face paint.
You threw up with your ski mask on still.
I refuse to have sex with you and your eBay condoms.
Remind me in the future that chugging dog codeine is not the best idea.
My favorite part was screaming to all my life by kc and jojo and just horribly failing
I wonder if there is a über wall of shame that you are currently on. Like between drivers.
He's gonna do me a solid for doing her a solid. It's like pay it foward. But with sex.
YOUUUU FUCKING FURRYYYY
I DIDN'T COME HERE TO BE SLANDERED LIKE THIS
So Saturday night after 10 drinks I guess he tried to have sex with me and in the middle of it I asked "can you tell I'm faking it!?" and then I sat up and threw up in my hand. That's a sex Win in my books
I would be down to associate sex w taco bell
Randomize
