the mandatory saturday morning class for those written up by RA's turned into a gold mine...just met EVERY hot chick that parties.
her dad is making me watch Glen Beck, i only agreed because i penetrated his daughter earlier.
I had a terrible day! The only thing that makes me feel better is knowing Jack Bauers day was worse.
U just looked at me and said "wake me up when I'm done eating"
I've started making all these amazing things...like bananas rolled in doritos..bandritos.
she has an amazing ass but I need more beers to get past her horse face. It works out perfect becauseI can use her teeth as a bottle opener.
I'm like 87% sure some random guy starting biting my ear after grinding me for like 30 seconds... I feel suprisingly unconcerned
You were walking away to pee and as you were undoing your belt you looked at me and said "the belt is off. the game is on. Remever that."
So far in the last ten minutes I have tried to pour cereal into a plate. Today's gonna be a great day.
How did you tell her we met?
I told her that we met at the sex shop down the street, I thought it would be the most reasonable explanation.
Oh dear. Sending much love.
Just send a machete.
A relationship is waiting for him to fall asleep so you can cum (finally!) while watching porn
Had a moment of weakness, slept with my ex last night
So that's why our room smells like tequila and shame.
you know my pussy doesn't know between good and evil
I'm either hallucinating or there is a dying cat outside my apartment....
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