**** and his GF asked me to give his stuff back, and they would give me a 100. HA, they dont know I have it to charity haha
I'm so bummed I missed coconut bowling. It's fucking cold here and no coconuts to be found
she refused to get out of the dog cage till we sang "be our guest" to her.
I made him tell me how he proposed to his wife before I'd bang him. I have a problem.
If by "in control" you mean him showing-up to work wasted, calling a customer a "fuckstick," and getting fired on the spot? Then yes, he is.
You know how hard it is to jerk off in a bathtub with a dog staring at you?
I'm starting to think my role in the world is to inject batshit crazy, mentally unbalanced chicks with a dose of normal sperm.
The night went downhill when he lit her purse on fire and tried putting it out with vodka
I'm sorry but if you can't drink a bottle of wine without a glass, I do not think we can be friends.
I just ate a raisin that tasted like wine. Is this real life or is this my body trying to tell me it's Friday and I should be drinking right now?
he just cleaned his wound with pinnacle whipped
No alcohol sales on Election Day. WTF? Today, of all days, I need to be splurged to to vote for any of these morons running for president.
Are you ok?!
I assume I've stopped bleeding because I haven't passed out, but can't verify currently.
How high?! We watched paid programming for 45 minutes before we realized it wasn't just a long commercial. So pretty high. The Bionic fish finder looks promising, though.
Lets get a boat first.
please come back. it's turned into strip rock paper scissors
Randomize