Dude i just saw JT leaving the hospital. He drove there to get fluids because he was too drunk, so they hooked him up to an IV so he didn't get alcohol poisoning. Did I mention he drove there? Oh yea and our roommates in the hospital with alcohol poisoning, she just puked up coal. So many ppl are here, it's like a hospital party, I love spring quarter!
I'm so horny!
I'm so hungry
WHAT A TERRIBLE REPLY!
For your pussy...
Best porno line to date...."drinks are on me..." while she female ejaculates into a wine chalice
so her cute freckles turned out to be blackheads
And secondly i just said i'd pay ten dollars to have sex with you
I woke up and found 10 txts from him. All sent at 6:30 am, and all about the muffin man.
Hey do you have a way to post bail? If not we can hook you up. If a police officer is reading this please ask him and respond in a timely fashion. I am concerned for my imprisoned friend
I'm allowed to be upset. I've never had that many fingers in my ass
Hooked up with a guy resembling a bearded Cher. I need the lenses on my beer goggles fixed. Pronto.
I seriously think I may just have to live here. In this bed. Naked.
Yeah well you try taking nice pictures while you have pizza crust lodged in your throat
I fell into the fireplace. That is a pretty good sign to stop drinking fireball
They found me wandering around campus screaming body shots over and over again wrapped in a curtain
I opened the bathroom door and the starting point gaurd was eating out my art history professor
He had a temporary tattoo of Justin Bieber on his dick and I still had sex with him
Randomize
