I cannot believe you needed a note to remind yourself to ask me about the fourteen sleeping Mexicans.
she just announced that once she was paid to deep throat a light saber with a mint flavored condom on it. i'm speechless.
yes we did fuck in his chapter room. yes it was demeaning. and yes, they probably will discuss it at chapter tonight.
I'm more impressed with the spaghetti smoothie at the present moment.
Its time to go balls to the wall to get any good D during these last few weeks of college.
Yes theres a double standard. Get over it. Fuck the critics and go be the slut you were born to be
If I interpreted our horoscopes correctly...you should be coming home with an 8 ball. Just saying.
Did you find any other hidden treasures in my room? Specifically weed? Or Slim Jims?
it's graduation. he's gonna get congratulations slash emotional i cant believe youre leaving me sex.
I LEAVE YOU TWO ALONE FOR 45 MINUTES AND ALL MY WHIPPED CREAM AND CONDOMS ARE GONE
Just looked for hours for the remote. Found it in my purse. I need to drink less.
Started crying to "that's the way it is" by celine. What the fuck uterus?!
Why didn't you ever bring me to the pope as a baby so he could kiss me.
Did I wash my face last night at your house? Where did my eyebrows go??
Quick I need a sexy way to say "suck your balls"
Randomize
