btw, but what hole was i in last night? wanna know if i have to worry
No better way to find a friend than to offer cyber sex and see what happens
Phease come get me i thought i was in a place i don't even understand
:( I miss blowjobs.
This is probably the strangest conversational segue we've ever had.
dude she was so drunk she thought Jim Joyce made the right call
Just sold this kid "Magic Furry Apples". He is way to high to figure out they are just peaches.
At least he's a nutritious stoner...
just ran into a kid I used to hook up with while wearing his shirt. Only me. I tried to pretend like it wasn't his but it said his name on the back so I wasn't winning that.
the size of his penis is telling me NOOO! but his bank account is telling me YESSS!
Omg. One night stands are not supposed to show up to your swim class the morning after. Worst lesson ever.
How do u even exfoliate your vagina
I swear if you help me with this I will eat you out and buy you all the Taco Bell you want.
Afterwards the first thing I said was, "You know, you're probably the first guy who has ever gotten laid wearing Star Wars pajama bottoms."
we are the best best friends ever. You had sex in an ice cream truck I had sex in a fire truck
I feel like I purchased a one way ticket to hell last night and its non refundable.
I pointed at him and said “there goes mr fuckwad”
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