It was at that point the crowd that gathered realized i wasn't getting arrested, and passed the sobriety tests. I got a standing ovation from 25 strangers
so i realized that everyone figured out i was a slut before i did. then i realized that no one felt like telling me. sometimes i think you just keep me around for entertainment.
you're right.
we made margaritas with slurpies from 7-11 and beer.
this is two weekends in a row I've been the pantsless girl at the party. I love my social life.
We're official. Living with your boyfriend sounds so much better than fucking your roommate.
My girlfriend and my fuck buddy both started their periods this weekend. The good news is, neither of them are pregnant. The bad news is, I'll have to find someone else to fuck til next weekend. No wait.....that's good news too.
your dad just showed up on the golfcart with a keg. i. love. our. neighborhood.
grown man stumbling drunk down green street wearing nothing but a hot dog costume and crying. its not even noon yet.
Im on my period and I feel like I'm going to die. The only thing that can make this tolerable is for you to eat me out in the shower. Please. I'll do anything.
THINK! exactly how many raw eggs did you color and hide in my apt.
Though I do have to question why i found you and my brother passed out on his bedroom floor, no clothing between you except his tie wrapped around your dick
People were wondering why I started hanging out with him after high school, the simple answer is now that I don't see his dorky ness everyday I can just focus on his amazing penis.
Antibacterial soap and prayers does not for spermicide make
That said I did get head on the roof of a 15 story building which, regardless of quality, is still cool
You said you made a new recipe, but it turned out you just cooked ramen with vodka instead of water.
Randomize
