just got my tax refund and at bell. how do you say i want a grand worth of 5 layer burritos in spanish?
just left the emergency room. condom extraction.
First date: that requires underwear, huh?
Yes, that's a picture of my balls. It isn't however an answer to my question.
like when he blacked out and we found him in the garden eating your tomatoes off the vine
Does making ice cubes at 4 in the morning count as being productive?
The lady at Walgreens was all excited my pregnancy tests had a coupon.
It looks like I promised him my virginity, in spanish. What the hell did you give me?
Still stoned. I like your bong. It can stay. No others, though.
So baked. About to eat a calzone then hate fuck this guy.
THAT'S MY GIRL
He was super adorable, like I wanna pinch his cheeks while I fuck him...
I swear we were drugged last night
We had a 130$ tab bitch. We drugged ourselves.
I think I kinda scared him when I tried to wrap his snake around his dick while he was trying to nap.
This sucks! All of the twenty something dick I was getting went home when the university closed
He’s like Batman if Batman went down on me and gave me multiple toe curling orgasms. He left without saying a word before I pulled the pillow off my face
Find out if he’s shared his techniques with a friend and set me up with him. You know I’ve always had a thing for Robin!!!!
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