but i am gonna have to have sex w/ him again to get my earrings back
i have no concept of time, i feel my nose, and im seeing everything in bitty hexagons.
trying to figure out who visited the hillshire farms website enough for it to be in my top sites.
he just started chanting dark meat! dark meat! out of no where.
Nope, just sitting on the couch, eating an advent calendar, being depressed about the herps.
So. Much. Sex. I feel like i ran a marathon then someone kicked me in the vagina. Soo worth it
Where is a good place to buy a New Year's outfit that acknowledges I don't have tits but screams I suck dick like a champ?
We were playing hot potato with real potatoes at 3am
No im just getting a road beer. You got my pants?
Idk man, she was drunker than me and i was sitting there talking to a raccoon about it's broken leg.
Time is so short and I miss you. (I just watched that commercial where the people all laugh and get older and die.)
There's times when I need to be plowed... and I'm ashamed to admit auto correct was able to predict that entire sentence.
I shouldn't have to tell you to stop throwing knives at me.
No way man ... This is real life. Complete sentences and everything.
Never in my life did I expect to see Eric's mom in a cheerleader outfit along with other women
Randomize
