When I went to court, my judge's name was Honorable Ball. I couldn't stop laughing.
that probably didn't help your case.
my mom just found my bong and asked what it was. I told her it was a hookah
and she bought it?!?
yeah...but her friends at work told her hookah was fun and now she wants to smoke it with me...im thinkin yes
but she was nice to me.
She was a fuckin STRIPPER.
i now know how you feel when you have to walk me home. she ran into a streetlight and into garbage.
highlight of my day: just saw a crying girl get dropped off at home wearing only socks, booty shorts, and a dirty wifebeeter. I wonder what happened to the costume...
I doubt the Taliban would support fake nipples.
He kept screaming "it's so seductive" while he was humping the wall
then he compared my vagina to a dishwasher. A DISHWASHER?!
I just spent a solid 3 minutes trying to figure out how to send a smell through my phone
I am having the most awesome nonsexual conversation about my vagina right now
so she gave me back a bag of clothing, had some boxers in it...they werent mine.... well that sums up 5 years of my life
Im quite confident that my struggle with sobriety ended last night sometime after dinner
I can't believe the police had to bring me to my booty call last night
Let's do something tonight. I feel like setting things on fire.
Best night if my life? Time I got eaten out in the backseat of a M5 while eating White Castle. Then he fucked me. Perfect
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