She's just bitter because she lost all the weight only to discover she doesn't have a pretty face after all.
Grow some girl-balls and come out already
Fact: Godrick looks like David Archuleta
I only knew it was midnight because i got happy new years texts while i puked outside
i guess i had fun last thursday night because when i got on the drunk bus this thursday night everyone immediatley started chanting my name and telling me to do a bus flip
whats a bus flip?
idk but apparently i invented it
i just remebered that we smoked out my hamster yesterday...
i hope hes still alive. i just remember you give him a shit load of cereal and saying "trust me your going to need it"
So I just learned that my father was teaching me rules for drinking games when I was 5.
What would you do if you came home and i was in nothing but the table cloth?
she's living proof man. somebody has literally pissed in the gene pool
it was like a congratulatory penis slap
High water is the most godliest tasting water in the world.
Don't need my thirties to be known as the decade of "new types of shits from drinking" like last night.
I promised to leave my panties on but I didn't promise to not have sex
i had sex with a girl named after a fruit last night and it was the best thing to happen to me in 2020
I managed to convince her that the egg yolks were actually orange juice and she fell for it
Randomize
