i just shoved 27 marshmallows in my mouth
well thats a nice change of pace from what you normally put in your mouth
I'm sitting here watching a kid lick a basketball- where have i gone wrong in life?
Exactly. All of us sinners go to hell and get nothing while all of the goody two shoes get to go to heaven where its all pink floyd, lasers, and pot.
Technically this isn't a church so we could have been drinking this whole time.
She whispered into my eat that she wanted me to fuck her while her parrot watched...
How do you not remember seeing the kid from our chem lab table and repeatedly yelling "lab partners for life!" at him?
random memory from the wedding, the bartender show us how to open the windows of the hotel and pee out of them
Almost there.
define "almost". like I have enough time to watch a youtube video or oh shit, put on some goddamn pants because they're in the driveway.
i could've stared at her spine forever man..she was so deep, and she made a drink out of vodka and organic mangoo shit. i will find her and present that goddess with some fucking gummies
you're no longer allowed out of my sight at parties
We broke up. And I told him he better give me my fucking star wars movies tomorrow. Priorities.
just ran into my drill sergeant from basic 4 years ago. gonna take him home and have him fuck me at the cadence of quick time.
She is carving a little coffin out of some wood for her hamster that died. I'm flying home tonight.
Have you ever had a pregnancy test laugh at you?
By talk things out did he mean have passionate angry sex?
The playlist was "songs to sing in the shower". I literally got fucked to Footloose.
Randomize
